“Meeting someone you like and dating him is supposed to make you feel better, not worse.”
― Greg Behrendt, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
When I was little I used to go on a large portion of my brother’s dates. We’d go pick out movies at Blockbuster and buy popcorn or we’d go out to dinner and a movie. I was always there with them always admiring how dope it was to be a “big kid” and go out with someone you like. Because of this I’ve always been a romantic. I just absolutely love love.
The problem is, my brothers didn’t always like these girls and I didn’t realize this until I got older. They’d show them ton’s of affection in public or even private but when it came to acknowledging them. Nope. Nada. No one even knew the girls thought they were dating them.
This was in the late 90s and early 2000s an easier time for the whole not acknowledging your partner thing. You only saw them when you wanted to see them and you only heard from them when they called you or paged you (I also thought pagers were dope but that’s for another time). Things are so different today though. You know because of well social media. Lack of acknowledgement has become noticeable and when you realize that you’re not being acknowledged it’s the worst feeling in the world.
This has happened to me on multiple occasions and as soon as I realize it and point it out I instantly become the crazy “not girlfriend”. Despite the fact we’ve been in the talking stage. Or the fact you consider me your girlfriend. I’m instantly written off as crazy because well our relationship doesn’t need to be public and I’m not exactly you girlfriend. However, when you like someone don’t you want the world to know? Don’t you want to acknowledge them?
I used to talk to this guy (who is now one of my best friends) and he used to ramble on about how he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. He used to take me out to eat and brought me around his friends. I even got a #WomanCrushWednesday post once. From my perspective he was super into me. Than one day he started talking about how he was helping an ex out a lot. All of his friends knew me, she’d seen me but no one knew that he was interested in dating me. They thought I was just some friend he had been messing with. After about almost a year of him telling me he was going to ask me out he disappeared and 2 months later got engaged to his ex girlfriend.
No one batted an eyelash. No one thought it was a big deal. You know why? Because I was never acknowledged as anything other than a friend. Since he had a track record of posting his friends as his #WCW and having them as his background on his phone I just seemed like some other girl.
The worst part about this story is how common it is. How common it is for someone to be super into you and never acknowledge you. That we can become so blinded by affection we never realize when someone isn’t really interested. I have countless friends that this has happened to. I know men/women that have been super interested in someone were given the whole everyone doesn’t need to know about us and I’m waiting for the right time to ask you to be my girlfriend story. It’s awful and it leaves you feeling as if you’re unworthy. Like, why wasn’t I enough? What did I do wrong?
Did they ever really like me?
Well let me answer that question for you. No…they never really liked you because when you like someone you want the world to know. When you like someone you don’t want people thinking that they have a shot with you and you for damn sure don’t want people to think they have a shot with them.
If that’s the case let them be. I’m sure there’s a guy or girl out there who wants to love them. Who wants to respond to their tweets with something that doesn’t sound like it’s from just a friend or a simple favorite. Someone who is going to let all of the people who have been trying to get with them know that they have a love interest and if not…
I repeat let them be
Let them fall in love with someone else. Don’t try to be the moon to their stars when you won’t even let them be your ray of sunlight. Don’t let people comment kissie emoji’s to you and every chance you get remind the world that that’s yours. If you’re not willing to do that for them than quit sending good morning text messages and quit pretending to want their heart. Affection might win the girl but acknowledgement keeps her.