Woman Crush Wednesday: The Woman That Lost Herself

To all the little girls who never felt like they were Princesses and to all the Queens that sometimes lose their crowns.

Have you ever felt like you were drowning? That the world was against you? Then all of a sudden you can’t focus. Everything good in your life seems bad and you don’t know where you’re going? You start getting angry at people and crying more. You can’t help it…

Well I’m here to tell you baby girl it’s ok. Don’t worry you’re going to be fine.

Life gets hard and sometimes you lose your way. You get lied to or your heart gets broken. Your grades slip and you feel lost. You wake up one day, look in the mirror, and you just don’t know who that person is anymore. It happens.

Sometimes we lose ourselves. We get so caught up in the moment that we overthink. We overthink everything. We overthink to the point where we can’t take it. We get sadder than usual and it’s hard. It happens.

Even to the happiest of people like me. In high school kids used to always laugh with me and tell me I seemed like I had a permanent high. I was always laughing and smiling…but no one knew I was having trouble at home and at school. My grades were slipping, my mom was in and out of surgeries, I was helping to raise my niece while my brother was in college.

Life was hard.

In college the trend continued. Some of my friend’s parents would call me “the happy girl” because I had a little bounce in my step along with my smile. Despite my smiles though life felt hard. I was across the country and felt so alone. Even though I had family in state I felt alone. I got depressed and would often seek pain relievers in people and drinks. I drank. Not enough to consider myself and alcoholic but enough to know that it was helping me smile. Helping me forget that I wasn’t happy.

Life was hard. Life’s still hard but it’s different.

In college I didn’t get this (and even now I’m still learning this) but sometimes we lose our way. You know what though? That’s ok. It’s ok to get depressed. It’s a part of life because life isn’t easy.

Life’s not going to be easy. There isn’t a step by step tutorial on what to do next. You’re not always going to get the grades you wanted. You won’t always live your dream life. You’re going to experience heartbreak. You’ll fall in love with a person who isn’t ready and it sucks but you know what? That heartbreak was supposed to happen.

You weren’t supposed to pass that class or test or whatever. Every obstacle that has come your way baby girl was meant to help you grow. You’re resilient. You’ve fought to be here and you might not see it but the world is better for it. Don’t ever forget.

So what do you do now? What happens after you finish reading this? When a couple days pass and that smile begins to fade. You lose yourself…

Just do what I do…

Smile.

Laugh.

Look at yourself in the mirror…look for a while. Just stand there and look at every inch of your body and smile because there will never be another you. You’re unique and even if you get lost you can always find yourself again.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s